Define "chronic" masturbator.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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