dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
