I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
