Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
