guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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