I don't think brook has ever known best
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
