How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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