I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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