These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
