You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize