i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
