Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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