and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
