Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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