how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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