Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
