He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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