1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
