yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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