Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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