You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
