PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
