i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
