I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
