this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Randomize
