i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
