Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
as a side note pls kill me
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
