i don't like sucking hair
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
