Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
