I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
