is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
do herpes really smell.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
