wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
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