I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
