That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
