I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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