I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
