office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
