i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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