My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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