she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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