i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just threw up on my dentist
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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