I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize