At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
