mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
