If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
