So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
