Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
