I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
