Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
