The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
