He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
