There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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