tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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