your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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