i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
