What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
