There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Send help, water and tortillas.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
