How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I love you. Go after that dick
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
