she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm bleeding and have questions
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
