I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
