Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
