She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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